How do we win Eurovision: enter Chico, or maybe the Cheeky Girls. Ok so Jade performed quite well gaining us 5th place… compared to recent years that’s a huge success. I must admit I was quite amused when I first heard that voting would revert back to (in part) to a panel of expert judges, was that format not done away with *because* it was so corrupt.
The reason we don’t and have not won Eurovision (or till recently even faired that well) is down to a number of factors – but the one I think we fail to understand here in the UK is also the biggest reason: taste. We simply have too much of it!
The reason why we or even France and to some lesser extent other western European countries perform so poorly is because we’re just not on the same cultural “taste plane” as our eastern European cousins. Greece and Turkey do well because musically they share their tastes and musicians with the former eastern bloc countries – anyone who has ever spent anytime in Greece, Turkey, Czech Republic, Russia, Ukraine etc will tell you that the music we find so appallingly cheesy here is lapped up in those countries.
Take Greece’s Sakis Rouvas… We might think he’s a cheesy B-side 1990’s dance act. But in Greece he’s a genuine superstar with countless hit albums and he’s no stranger to shame elsewhere in Europe too.
I think Jade managed to do so well not because of the song (which was poor enough to be a contender) but because they’d taken her on a pre-urovision publicity tour.
We’ve not lost in previous years because our music is bad (though let’s be honest it was!) we’ve performed badly because we’re entering acts that just don’t appeal to our new eastern european neighbours. If we want to win we need to send Chico or the Cheeky Girls, or if it’s possible someone much worse.
Hmm I wonder what Dane Bowers availability is like in 2010