Why we should enter Chico into Eurovison
May 17, 2009 by Martin P · 6 Comments
How do we win Eurovision: enter Chico, or maybe the Cheeky Girls. Ok so Jade performed quite well gaining us 5th place… compared to recent years that’s a huge success. I must admit I was quite amused when I first heard that voting would revert back to (in part) to a panel of expert judges, was that format not done away with *because* it was so corrupt.
The reason we don’t and have not won Eurovision (or till recently even faired that well) is down to a number of factors – but the one I think we fail to understand here in the UK is also the biggest reason: taste. We simply have too much of it!
The reason why we or even France and to some lesser extent other western European countries perform so poorly is because we’re just not on the same cultural “taste plane” as our eastern European cousins. Greece and Turkey do well because musically they share their tastes and musicians with the former eastern bloc countries – anyone who has ever spent anytime in Greece, Turkey, Czech Republic, Russia, Ukraine etc will tell you that the music we find so appallingly cheesy here is lapped up in those countries.
Take Greece’s Sakis Rouvas… We might think he’s a cheesy B-side 1990’s dance act. But in Greece he’s a genuine superstar with countless hit albums and he’s no stranger to shame elsewhere in Europe too.
I think Jade managed to do so well not because of the song (which was poor enough to be a contender) but because they’d taken her on a pre-urovision publicity tour.
We’ve not lost in previous years because our music is bad (though let’s be honest it was!) we’ve performed badly because we’re entering acts that just don’t appeal to our new eastern european neighbours. If we want to win we need to send Chico or the Cheeky Girls, or if it’s possible someone much worse.
Hmm I wonder what Dane Bowers availability is like in 2010
Of course, Brits looking for excuses and calling the rest of the world cheesy. I did like Jade though and the Greek alot. I thought Norway was cheesey actually, but their music and lyrics were mass appealing for Europe. The Azerbaijani woman was hot!
Yeah,Euro-pop is Cheeky Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!Sexy,cute,good old cheesy dance&tune;and let’s be honest,we all love it.Millions are buying it,it’s good and light fun.
We should of think about this ,years ago.Chiko is old ,and nothing like the Cheeky Girls!The girls light up the stage;I saw them in concert(live show).
Anyway,next year we need a really good cheeky Song ;Moni&Gabi are the best choice!They just won the Romanian version of Strictly Come Dancing,see Pro TV -”Dansez pentru tine”.All the video clips are there,and the Electro dance is fantastic.
David : lets face it we can supply cheese, and masses of it… the problem is so far we seem intent on supplying tripe or watered down claret.
Norway’s entry was as ripe a slice of wenslydale as you could find. And yeah that Azerbaijani woman was hot, blimely I need to download that video!
I think we either have to accept Eurovision for what it is or just ignore it. We can’t change it, Lloyd-Webber and co gave it a good shot but IMO the song was neither cheesy enough to compete or original enough to turn heads – it has to be one or the other (Think Lordi…)
I love Eurovison it is ultimately great entertainment and occasional there is a gem or two in there take last years entry from Croatia “Romanca” by Kraljevi Ulice & 75 Cents, brilliant entry by a brilliant group… a 75 year old rapper, backed by a band and a hot girl doing Salsa… it so should have won… sadly it was actually rather good and so performed badly!
Emil forget the Cheeky Girls I think we should enter you! Can you sing? Actually no that doesn’t matter – do you have a pair of silver leggings?
Ouch, you were going somewhere with your “taste” argument and the differences between east and west, but sadly you descended into the usual jingoistic fluff about some kind of latent British/Western superiority.
Just walk down an English high street and you will quickly spot far more cheese (and chavs!) than anywhere else in Western or Eastern Europe!
Oops, now I’ve descended into stereotyping too… 
Hi John,
I never said we don’t have Cheese – just that we never enter it.
Rather i’d say that so far we have always assumed we were better and entered acts upon that basis Lloyd-Webber may think his song was superior but IMO it was sadly lacking, shame it wasn’t bad enough to be cheesey!